Private · for Tannoz

Sean Chi — therapy brief

A living, one-page brief. Scan the 5-minute summary and the agenda up top; the rest is depth if you want it.

Updated Jun 28, 2026 · refreshes each session · next session: Fri Jul 3, 11:00am

The 5-minute brief
Where he's at this week. Everything below is reference.
Cover this session: the slow-grind / motivation dip first, then the accelerating Karla loop, who reopens it (both of them), insight vs behaviour, the mutual wall, and the body cost. Full agenda right below.

Since last session — Jun 16

The Karla close decided on Jun 16 was executed Jun 22, then collapsed within days; they're now functionally back together. The new thing since: a slow-grind, low-motivation dip (progress feels slow, no early wins) that's pulling sleep down hard, three nights up past 2–4am. On the plus side, a back-to-back prom + wedding gig weekend got delivered.

Last session's homework — did it land?

Session agenda — Jul 3

Next session: not booked yet

  1. The slow grind, open here. Not despair, but slow progress and no early wins are sapping his momentum and feeding the late nights, the "nothing to look forward to" dip with Medellin far off.
  2. The acceleration. The close ran June 22, then reopened; each goodbye now triggers a faster reconnect (roughly 28h, then ~16h, then continuous). What does an accelerating cycle mean?
  3. Who reopens it — both of them. After the close, the silence broke from both sides (he texted first one day, she called first the next, she messaged first the one after). A mutual pull, not one person chasing. Neither holds the close, so the work is on the shared loop.
  4. The insight–behaviour gap. He narrates the loop perfectly ("reaching out didn't make it better") and runs it again hours later. Seeing it hasn't shifted it.
  5. The mutual wall. Karla named that they both wall up the moment they feel something, from fear of being hurt again. Two avoidants co-regulating — what would let one step off?
  6. The body cost. Three nights up past 2–4am across the gig weekend. The drain is hitting sleep, the routine, and his mood, not just the heart.

What's working

Snapshot

Season
Ottawa, Jun–OctThe "offense window." Winters in Medellin, Colombia.
North star
Debt cleared by Oct 10Fly back to Medellin able to choose, not survive.
The engine
Sales + wedding DJN5 commission sales is the lever; DJ is the floor.
Right now
Karla reopened, grinding slowThe close didn't hold; slow progress, no early wins, up late.

Where Sean is now — the detail

About a month back in Ottawa after wintering in Medellin. The early re-entry "video-game-tier" dissociation has eased, but the body floor has not held. Sleep has slid badly, three straight nights up past 2–4am over the last week, and he names the mechanism plainly: he stays up late and games when he doesn't think there's something good waiting tomorrow. He's clear it isn't real hopelessness, it's that everything feels grindingly slow with no early wins, which saps the motivation and the sleep. The gym is still lapsed, the family home (his dad's friction with his brother) is a background trigger, and the deeper "nothing to look forward to" dip is a pattern he can describe precisely.

The biggest shift since the last session is Karla. The clean, definitive close he had decided on did happen on June 22, and then it did not hold. In the days since it reopened and ran through several fast breakup-then-reconnect laps, pulled by both of them (he texted first one day, she called first the next, she messaged first the one after), and he is now functionally back in near-daily contact with her (mutual "I love you," shared gaming calls, no status conversation). The striking part, in his own words, is that he can narrate the loop accurately while he is inside it and still not change it.

The deliberate frame over all of it is unchanged: this Ottawa stretch funds his return to Medellin on October 10 with the debt cleared, landing able to choose instead of survive. Income runs on two engines, wedding DJ work (the floor, largely booked, a back-to-back prom + wedding weekend just done) and commission sales (the ceiling, the real lever, still the gap). The avoidance pattern is the usual one: he builds and organizes (the fun dopamine) instead of the scary-simple money task, the sales calls. He already knows his "higher self"; the gap isn't knowing, it's falling out of it when the wins are slow to come.

People you'll hear about

Session history

Leave Sean a note

Anything between sessions, a reflection, a piece of homework, a nudge. It's emailed to Sean so it reaches his inbox.

After our session — clinical note

Jun 16, 2026 · draft for your review

1. What we talked about

First in-person session after the client's return to Ottawa (~2 weeks back from Medellin, where he winters). Presented mildly dissociated, "video-game-tier" unreal, low sleep. He set the agenda himself: a relationship piece and an identity / purpose piece for his personal operating document.

  • Relationship (Karla): long-distance on-again-off-again, highly conflictual. The recent Colombia trip ran on repeated arguments alongside intimacy, then a steady cycle of block / unblock / break up / apologize / re-contact. Named a fearful-avoidant push-pull: she withdraws when she doesn't get her way, he tolerates poor treatment, each relies on the other for regulation rather than healing. Recognizes it as toxic and unsustainable across distance, but reports difficulty letting go, partly jealousy and fear of her connecting with others.
  • Identity / purpose: questioning the "why" of the Ottawa chapter and the identity needed to hit his October goals, zero debt with a cushion, health at baseline, a settled relationship. Worked it from strengths first rather than deficit.
  • Mood / functional: sleep sliding (2–3am), late-night gaming as dopamine-seeking, gym lapsed, inconsistent work motivation. Described a recurring low dip ("fuck it, nothing to look forward to") that lands specifically when progress is slow and Medellin feels far off. Named his living environment (family home, father–brother conflict) as the same setup that preceded a hard prior summer.
  • Strengths he named: better out-of-work productivity, more organized space, non-zero work output, improved self-talk around the family negativity, earning more than he did abroad.

No safety concerns noted at this June 16 session: no suicidal ideation, intent, or plan expressed or implied. (Note for next session: between sessions he has named frustration with slow progress and no early wins, sapping motivation; he is clear it is not hopelessness. Flagged in the agenda to revisit Jul 3.)

2. Methods and techniques

  • Psychoeducation on codependency and enmeshment (the "umbilical cord / band-aid over a wound" metaphor; the supervised-detox analogy, you don't sober someone in a room full of the substance, for why separation must precede any reconciliation).
  • Strengths-first reframe: started from "what are you happy with" before examining what needs to change.
  • Values / purpose clarification via Socratic questioning (why Ottawa, why the money) to surface purpose before any behavioral planning.
  • Externalizing / parts-informed framing (the known "higher self" vs the protective coping part driving the avoidance).
  • Reframe of the current circumstance as purposeful and time-limited (booked income, low overhead, a hard October end date) rather than a regression.
  • Environmental / behavioral design, environment as the lever over willpower, with a concrete guardrail plus a contingency.

3. Plan and next steps

  • Relationship: agreed to move toward a respectful, definitive close; separation as the precondition for either to heal, even if reconciliation is the long-game hope. (Update: executed Jun 22, did not hold, now the live thread for Jul 3.)
  • Sleep / screen guardrail: hard computer cut-off at 11pm, then a treadmill walk with a video, then bed. Self-monitor whether he can disengage at the cut-off.
  • Contingency: if the cut-off fails, swap to a two-step alternative (planned social or the gym) over relying on willpower.
  • Work: keep it the clear first priority, protect it from health-hyperfocus, do the first dial block first, drop the elaborate morning routine that builds resistance.
  • Environment (revisit ~1 month): a co-working office once finances allow; interim, ask his father about using his St. Laurent office as a daytime workspace.
  • Body: pick a gym and start (knows how, just hasn't set it up).
  • Repayment: pay the balance in $170 chunks as money lands so receipts line up; target late July if commissions land, locked by late August on booked weddings.
  • Follow-up: next session reviews the guardrail, the relationship close, the office plan, and the slow-progress dip named since.

Clinical judgment stays yours. This note is auto-drafted from the session as a starting point for your records, not a substitute for your own assessment.

Repayment & forecast

The outstanding session balance, paid in steady chunks as money lands, with an update each time.

Paid so far
Updates here as each chunk lands.
Fast path
if his sales commissions land
Safe path
booked wedding income alone

A good-faith chunk goes first to keep the in-person relationship clean, with the bulk clearing late July if commissions land and locked by late August on booked weddings alone. It sits inside the bigger arc: debt to zero by October 10.